Hi, hello, um, ahem, I’m feeling quiet embarrassed I asked you to guess where we were going on my last (POST) and didn’t give you any hints. How rude and blonde of me!
Welp it’s just north of the famous Pismo Beach dunes here in Central California. It’s been so amazingly relaxing and nice to get away! I’ll give all the details later but today I felt compelled to share a topic I hadn’t planned on sharing today.
I woke up this morning, went into the restroom to wash my face and leisurely lounged in my yoga pants while waiting for the tea kettle to whistle to make Josh and I some hot tea before reading in bed. Then it hit me. I’ve grown a lot. Spiritually and mentally over the last odd some years. I’m a far cry from the younger girl (myself) that I used to know. The (other me) would have got up out of bed to wash her face only to loathe the God given body that was hers, and to hardly look at herself in the mirror for fear of disappointment with acne, so called not thin enough figure, frizzy hair and the list goes on. but years and years later on the other end of the spectrum I can look back and say this side is far brighter.
Far less indulgent.
So much focus on my self put others around me at arms length and one ear for listening. You see I was too far into myself to really even pay attention to anyone else or their needs. Very self indulgent indeed. Often times the best thing when one is depressed is to look outside of their circumstances and focus on someone else. For me that meant Christ my savior and serving others any way I could.
What I wish I could have told myself all those years ago was to never give into the media’s lies of what perfect is/was. To shut if out because once the door is crept open it pulls you in like an all consuming black hole. Since I can’t go back in time I can only share what I know to my readers. to the next beautiful generation.
What I will say is, It was my journey, my path and something that brought me to where I am toady and to encourage any other women out there.
Some things that helped me, although it took YEARS I’m not kidding years to get here, it was all a journey, when I told myself to get healthy minded I reminded myself daily minute by minute
it’s a marathon not a sprint
Some things that helped
and a highly plant based diet/clean diet.
Some may cringe with the last one, & I know that’s not everyone’s path but for me, I started to dip my toes into the pool of healthy living/eating after feeling so run down with everything fat free sugar free, push up bras, smashed toes in uncomfortable pumps, caked on make up and crusty hair from far too much hair spray. Dramatic? Probably but I was feeling over the whole thing!
I had to be true to me and little by little I started to dust off the old Marian and get to know me a little better each and every day and over time (years) I could hear my OWN voice again, Telling and reminding me of my hobbies, passions, friend ships, love and so much more.
All that to say, since this is getting wordy. Don’t loathe yourself one second more! Please! I beg, don’t. Life is too short. Love is too great! The human body to beautiful, the brain too amazingly smart to waist on self loathing!
I LOVE you all
Much love Marian<3